I would say this only happens at my house, but I'm sure people with kids can relate:
This morning it took 10 minutes of chasing The Boy, or AKA The 2 Year Old, around the house to get him into the bath. When I finally did catch him, his defense mechanisms kicked in and he proceeded to wipe his gooey, green, boogery nose all over my arm. Now, this wouldn't have been so bad if I had been expecting it, but I had no idea his nose was runny. Then while I was washing the disgusting sludge off my arm and his face, he peed on my feet. And I would have been upset about this except he looked down at his plumbing so confused, like, "How did that thing go off so suddenly?"
I almost laughed. Almost.
The upside? When I set him in the bath he said (for the first time ever), "I sorry, Mom."
Some day I'll laugh. Just give me a minute.