Tuesday, May 25, 2010

First Five and C.R.A.P.

My brain is fried and my eyelids are about to drop, but I want to check in and say, "Hi, ya'll!"

(I'm allowed to say ya'll even though I don't live in the south because I'm a country girl.)

So I'm stuck. I'm going to try and write through it today, but it's been a while since I've been at a plot stick. Usually they're character sticks.


I really, really struggle with this. Especially right now as I work on the May Scramble/Challenge.

But I'm loving the WIP still (at page 95), even though the writing is C.R.A.P.(tastic) first draft stuff. We'll see if I can finish it and make something of it.

(In case I haven't told you about it, here's the little pitch I use for it: Raised, groomed, and set apart, Jedda Hitler was her Fuhrer grandfather’s personal project to prove that even a small girl could be turned into a killing machine. Now at seventeen the grandfather she despised is dead and she’s left with a name and a life she never chose.)

Just for fun, or more because I'm too tired to know better, here are the first five sentences. Feel free to criticize/critique. My love of this book seems to be impervious right now:
Grandfather Hitler would have never allowed such a slipshod in his army. That would be one thing you could have said for him. And yet this is the jailer they give me, a former Commissioner of Police, with his sagging belly and eyes that dart from the door to me.

He wipes the sweat off his upper lip. He is afraid of me, this officer.

As well he should be.

Oh, wait. That was six. Oops.
...Did I mention that I'm tired?


  1. What a fascinating premise! I'm totally intrigued. Keep going, you'll get there!

  2. I was very pleased with this wonderful little sippet. Very interesting I must say, I'd be interested in reading more! It's okay that you're tired because we benefited!

    The challenge is getting tougher with each day! However I'm glad I still participated, it was important to get the push I needed!! I'm really looking forward to possibly winning the prize pack!!! *Fingers crossed*

  3. Fascinating premise. If I were that girl I would change my name.
    As for the secondary character question, I think you give them motivation. What do they want in the confines of the story?
    Meanwhile, since you set this week up for accountability, I revised a chapter yesterday and another today. So I'm moving ahead, woo-hoo.

  4. Very fascinating! Honestly, I improve my secondary characters on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. time through the draft.

    Keep going! I want to read it someday. :)

  5. Intriguing at the very least. Not so C.R.A.P.py.

  6. Oh, I'm intrigued. Great job with the logline.

    As for the secondary character, make sure you do as much preplanning for them as you do for your main character. Know what they passions, values, motivations, etc, are.

  7. Hi

    Just popped over to say hello!

    Well first, you grabbed my attention with "Grandfather Hitler" immediately.

    I think my jaw dropped from here to eternity..! LOL!

    Secondly - great hook and fab six sentences!!! Wow!!! I'm not the world's greatest critic so this is my two pennies worth: wow!

    Good luck and keep going!! Oh and rest too when you;re tired!

    Take care

  8. This is a really great premise. As for good secondary characters...well, try to mold them after someone you know...hehehe.


  9. Wow, that is an amazing premise--sounds like a winner! I agree with Tricia about giving secondary characters motivation. Angie Fox said not to make friends and sidekicks automatically on board with the m.c.'s agenda--give them their own issues to add conflict and interest.

  10. Just give us a few more.... chapters! Sounds very intriguing!

  11. Write something from your secondary character's POV.

    I like Jedda Hitler already. The slipshod is going down!

  12. You've got a great premise and start here. Give it some time to filter around in your brain - it'll work itself out :)

  13. I love that last line: "As well he should be." It's awesome! And I love your premise - this sounds like a fascinating story.

    If your secondary characters aren't doing their job, maybe you should cut them? Can you combine two or more into one?

  14. I'm totally curious!

    I don't know if I'm going to meet both of my goals for the challange, but I'm off the couch and writing...which is a huge step after the begining of the month. Thanks for inspiring us, Jackee.

  15. Just a quick post to say, 'hope you feel less tired soon'. And if there aren't too many reasons for it (and even if there are), get your thyroid levels checked, please.

  16. I'm definitely curious and intrigued!!!

    Keep up the good work and push on through...I know exactly how you feel and sometimes the light shines best after you force yourself to suffer a bit. :-)

  17. Gosh, when I wrote the first book of my series, the secondary characters were so darn interesting they inspired four more books to tell their stories!

    Just keep writing. Doesn't matter what it looks like - just get the words and the passion on paper and organize and clean later.

  18. Sounds like you're super busy. I'm not much of a writer, but just from reading, I would say to keep your secondary characters involved, make them a mystery, do something unexpected or create a twist to make the reader remember that they are still there. I think it's more fun to follow/be interested in two character's lives than one.

  19. So I will be posting my progress on this wonderful competition of yours! If I have time it will happen tonight, otherwise I'll save it for tomorrow! I figured if you're showing off I might as well do the same ;)

    I'll let you know when it's up so you can see the fabulousness of it all!

    BTW I finally visited Shelly's blog to see this basket and HOLY COW!!! I never knew you had such a gift! A gift of writing and a gift of baskets!

  20. That sounds like a fascinating book!

    As for your question, well, I just make sure all my seconary characters affect my main characer's emotions in some way in show that happening. :)

  21. Very interesting concept! Looking forward to more.

  22. hi Jackee, thanks for following - i also love cs lewis!

  23. I love secondary characters. We like to make ours pretty quirky. They're good for comic relief!

  24. Very interesting I must say, I'd be interested in reading more! It's okay that you're tired because we benefited!

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