Friday, January 11, 2013

2013: Leave Your Expectations at the Door



New Year’s Day came and went and I didn’t get the post out I intended. Truthfully, it sounded pretentious. It was a list of all the things I accomplished in 2012. There were quite a few failures on there too, but I make the list every year because it helps my perfectionist self recognize that I am making progress on my goals and in the creation of myself. This year the list felt like it should be for my eyes only.

Then the next post felt a little unsettling. It was a list of all the good hopes I have for 2013. If I am honest, there are a lot of things I’m fearful about in the upcoming year instead of hopeful. It’s kind of contrary to my generally cheerful personality, but there it is. First and foremost, my mother will not make it past the year. The aggressive cancer she has been fighting so valiantly for the last four years has finally taken over. It’s hard for me to think of life without her. It’s hard for me to think of my kid’s lives without her. She is only 55.

Yet it is impossible to stay completely sad for long. Happy, bright events continue to overwhelm my sense of love I have for this world. I have many things to look forward to and blessings far beyond those I deserve. I’m sure my mom would want me to see life this way too. That’s why this year I’m concentrating my efforts on keeping my heart open. There is too much good out there to let it shut down with sadness.

I have a word-theme picked out for every month. January is SAVOR. I plan on savoring my time with my mother, with my children, with my writing, and with all of my surroundings. Savoring is a way for me to keep my heart open to all the good available to me.

So really that is it. No goals and accomplishments are listed here this year. I have left my expectations for the future at the door. I am simply going to savor the good while I face the bad with faith and courage. Life isn’t easy, but the hard parts make us stronger and help us enjoy the sweet parts that much more.

Here’s to 2013. Whatever it may bring.

12 comments:

  1. What a lovely idea!! I know your mom would be very impressed with it. I lost my dad before he turned 60 too - it's so hard. It's been over a decade and I think of him daily and remember the golden moments. Find some of those golden moments as you savor your time together. *hugs*

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  2. Oh my goodness, so sorry to hear about your mother! That's not a happy way to begin the year, especially for one so young as 55. Take care, Jackee, and my the peace of our Savior sustain you and your family during this difficult time.

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  3. You are awesome. I hope you can savor every moment. *hugs*

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  4. My prayers with you and your mother. Savor it.

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  5. I love the idea of a word theme every month. And what a beautiful one to start with. Savor.

    Wishing you many things in January to savor!

    Shelley

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  6. I am doing a word theme for the year but I love the idea of picking a different word each month, too! Hhhhm, might have to consider that. Savor is an excellent word.

    Your mom's situation is so heartbreaking. Only 55! I hope you get to spend a lot of time with her. My father is failing rapidly but he's much older. Since he cannot write anymore, I am helping write out his memories in a grandfather's memory book for my kids. It is turning out to be a precious time with him as we go through the questions and he tries to remember - sometimes he can't remember certain things but then he'll remember other things that are so neat!

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  7. Wonderful outlook and word! I am so grateful for you. I will savor the fact that I have a level headed, spiritually uplifting, kind and generous Sister whom I get to see more this year!

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  8. Jackee,55 is way too young and I wish you weren't beginning the year with this sadness in your future. But I'm glad that you are going into the year determined to get every last goodness out of the time you have. Thought and prayers for you and your family.

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  9. This is such a brave post. Thank you, Jackee, for inspiring me to be a little better. I wish you (and your mother) all the best.

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  10. Bless you in this difficult time and your mother in what she is going through, Jackee. Savor is a good word and a wonderful thing to do, making the most of each moment with your loved ones.

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  11. I've been praying for you and your mom, Jackee. You have such a wonderful outlook on life - she's obviously done a fantastic job raising such an amazing daughter!

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  12. Your positive outlook amazes me. I know this is such a hard time. Whatever happens, I hope your mother doesn't suffer too much and you can be there for the moments you need to be. xo

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